Why I blog

Anyone ever used Livejournal? I used it for years until I eventually grew tired of it. There it sat, all neglected in it's dusty corner of the internet and I completely forgot all about it until last week when a couple of emails landed in my inbox. One was from a spambot leaving a comment on a post I'd written years ago and the other was an update about my photo galleries. 

What followed was a nostalgia filled couple of hours going through old forgotten photos and reading the blog post about the 101 different things I wanted to achieve before I hit my next birthday. It was heart warming, tear inducing and toe curlingly cringe worthy all at the same time. 

I got to peer back into my past and remember what my life was like at that particular moment in time. 

And the funny thing is I kind of remember that time, but not like that. Over time my memory has faded and left holes which I've filled with things that didn't actually happen. That blog post and the photos showed me how it really was, how it really looked. Another post reminded me of another day that I thought I had actually remembered quite well. Over the years I've convinced myself that the day was tough going at the time, but wasn't such a big deal at the end of it all. Reading the words I wrote on that date however has made me realise exactly how bad it got, how it has stayed with me in subtle ways ever since and has actually had a hand in shaping who I am today. In a positive way as it turns out. It's both humbling and eye opening.

Not only does blogging provide me with a way to express myself, to share my thoughts and ideas with like minded people, but I also have a golden opportunity to save my life in a way that I can return to it whenever I want. I can remember exactly what I did in a certain year and how I felt. 

And the more I re-visit these posts, the more intact my memories shall remain. It will also serve as a regular reminder of how far I've come in life and how much I have to be thankful for.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is why I blog. 

Aristotle can suck it.

In that case, I'm a cleaner.

I must work on that.

Alessi - 7 months

Well she's found forward gear!

For the past month she's been shuffling around backwards. Grizzling with frustration at not being able to go the other way, or during the (many) times she found herself stuck under the sofa bed in the sewing room.

But now my little babba has done it and yes, I am knackered as a result, thank you.
Bless her though she gets so proud of herself. I'll get this look as if to say, "look mum! I just crawled over to the the nappy changing basket and pulled everything out while you were looking the other way. Am I smart or what?!"
Yes my darling girl, you're a genius. Now stop eating the wet wipes.

Other developments, my girl's got moves! She looks like she's playing with an invisible hula hoop. That or she's having some kind of seizure, but it's hellish cute either way.
She's also found her voice properly too. Gone are the days of the Mariah Carey squeal. That was so two months ago. She's finally playing with sounds like "la", "ma", "da" and an odd, but too cute clicking sound with her tongue. You know the noises. The usual baby babble noises that parents think are amazing, but other people, not so much.
She's also going to be a musical genius as she can play the kazoo. I know. I'm so proud. Unfortunately like the invisible hula hooping, there's no video evidence of this either, but take my word for it. She's a kazoo playing genius.

Elvis lives.

Trying to get my mojo back

Earlier this morning I had a light bulb moment whilst standing in my sewing room.

I was looking at my sewing machine and overlocker, all threaded up and ready to go. Next to them lay the fabric I'd cut to make a dress (for me this time!) all neatly folded up, also ready to go. It was all just sitting there, waiting for me to get on and create something. And I thought, "I wish I could spend more time in here".

No sooner had that thought crossed my mind, than another followed shouting at me "WHAT'S STOPPING YOU??"

And that was my light bulb moment.

What is stopping me?

There always seems to be something else that needs doing first. Bottles need to be made up, nappies changed, laundry put on/hung up/put away, the floor needs hoovering, it's my turn to wash up, the chicken coop needs cleaning, yadda, yadda, yadda. There's always something else.
But that something else never gets counted at the end of the day. It never matters. So if it doesn't matter, why am I putting it first? What am I afraid of? That I'll actually get something done that matters? I'll have something to show for my day other than a stack of clean dishes that will be dirty again in a few hours?

If I was reading this post in anyone else's blog I'd be thinking the same thing you are. Stop.
The cleaning, the tidying up..it'll still be there later. Do what you love and you'll be a better person for it.
But is it really that easy?

I stopped doing all the crappy housework stuff last week to get an order out and the result (the dress) was brilliant - if I do say so myself. I was very happy with it.
The house..not so much. I'm still trying to catch up with the laundry. And if you think it doesn't matter, you quickly change your mind when you realise you're down to your last pair of knickers.
Same with the washing up, you can ignore it until you realise there are no clean cups when you want a cup of tea or saucepans to make dinner with or plates to put the dinner on. House work day in, day out makes me want to munch my arm off, but it's necessary if I want to avoid the Mount Everest of dirty undies that's currently staring at me.

I just need to learn to organise my time better. I've made a start by taking a break from Twitter and as pathetic as it sounds, I already feel like I'm missing a limb. I keep picking up my phone before remembering that I've uninstalled the Twitter app. It's a small step, but appears to be working. Earlier when I found myself with a few minutes to spare, instead of picking up my phone, I picked up my knitting. Cool huh?


Oh shut up. It's a start.