Make no comparisons

©Lona Aalders

I've noticed a lot of talk on the internet lately about people comparing themselves to others and feeling bad about their achievements as a result. I get frustrated because I was once terrible for doing this and wasted a lot of time worrying about not doing as well as I felt others in my field were doing.

I can't tell you when I stopped caring about this or how. All I can say is that these days if I catch myself comparing myself to others, I can easily pick any thoughts of failure apart with logic. Are these people you're comparing yourself to even in your industry? I ask this as I was listening to a certain lady singing on the radio the other day and I momentarily found myself comparing my achievements to hers. I mean, she's younger than me and has achieved so much. I don't even have my own wind machine for crying out loud.
Yes I was comparing myself to Beyonce.

And if you are in the same industry, are you even on the same page? Whenever I've spoken to people about this, never are they comparing themselves to people who have started out at the same time as they have. They might be comparing themselves to someone who has been in the game for years, people who had to cut their teeth and make mistakes too, but who stuck at it and are a little bit more experienced as a result.

Or perhaps you're comparing your style to someone else's look. Or maybe it's a little more mundane than that. Maybe you're simply comparing your lot to your neighbour's lot and left feeling a little wanting.

STOP.

No one is perfect and no ones lives are perfect. Take blogs for example - this one included, you see what we want you to see. No more, no less. More often than not, we talk about our successes rather than our failures. It's easy to feel bad about the mess in your home when we've removed all evidence of mess from ours. Trust me though, it's there. As are the shabby clothes, the days where we rock the greasy haired look and the occasional feeling that we're just not doing as well as we could be.

This applies to everyone. EVERYONE. Even Beyonce. Granted hers clothes might be a little less shabby than average and I suspect she might wake up in front of a wind machine, but you can guarantee that there are days where even she looks in the mirror and thinks "gah!".
Yeah yeah I know what you're thinking, but for the sake of this post, just humour me on that one ok?

Try and remember that if you try and copy other people, it will always be obvious. People may not point it out, but trust me they will notice and they will lose interest. If you want to reach your own personal level of Beyonce-ness then be your awesome self and trust that you are awesome in a way that no one else can touch.
Everything about you marks you out as unique and the biggest tragedy is that often we don't realise this and unintentionally piss all over what makes us special by trying to emulate others.

Your style, your spark, it's in everything you do. The language you choose, the way you write, the clothes you choose, the music you listen to, the way you dance..or don't, it's all good, it all makes you vast and brilliant.

Hold your head up high, work hard, do your own thing and MAKE. NO. COMPARISONS.