Feed the birds...so the bastards stop staring at you

It's that time of year again. Pigeons have been pecking around the garden looking for something other than moss and discarded footballs to eat. Our resident blackbird has been pecking at the remaining crab apples, giving me the eye in a manner as if to say "sort it out Kim" and even though there has been no food to tempt them, we've had the odd blue tit visiting the bird feeders.

So I caved. Partly because I fear the wrath of those tiny birds, but mainly because I'll try anything that will keep Alessi entertained for more than a minute. And as it turns out, playing with dried up meal worms falls in to that category. Which reminds me;

THERE ARE PICTURES OF MEAL WORMS IN THIS POST. If you don't like bugs, (or more specifically crunchy worm husks), you might want to click away now.

So, right. Back to the bird cake. Essentially it's just throwing a block of lard and bird food in to a bowl and mixing it all together.

Don't forget to make earrings with the pine cones if you use them. This is a very important part of the bird cake making process. 

As is singing 'Let it Go' at the top of your voice.*

Chipped nail varnish is optional.

Leftovers can be frozen, although I kind of wish I'd added mine to the pine cones first as it would have made things a lot easier later on. Hey ho.

And there you have it. Here are our homemade bird feeders, in all their fatty, wormy glory. Don't they look absolutely disgusting good?

The birds had better eat the flipping lot.

* When will this song DIE??!

Christmas 2015

Did you all have a good Christmas?

We had a lovely, low-key affair this year, just the three of us. Lots of food, a bit of Christmas telly, multiple games of Hungry Hippos and an overwhelming desire to nap on the sofa. Unfortunately we were denied the naps, but that's OK. We probably wouldn't have been able to sleep long anyway what with the constant sing offs between Alessi's bastard Elsa and Anna dolls which are motion activated.

We didn't think this would be a problem as we had assumed they would also come with off switches. Well they do, but we didn't find them until well in to the afternoon. Such. Fun.
Thankfully during our stay in Wales, my Dad introduced me to the wonders of the Snowball so I just made sure the drink was never far from my hand.
Besides she wasn't the only one who was over the moon with her presents. Dan bought me a bread maker, something that's been on my wish list for yonks. If you follow me on Twitter you'll know that I nerded out slightly. I made a simple white loaf to have alongside dinner and we scarfed the lot.

Today I'm testing out it's cake making abilities with a banana loaf. Then there's a long list, cheese and bacon loaf, pizza loaf, coffee cake, pitta bread..I LOVE THIS THING! Oh and her name is Hilda.

Moving on.

Boxing Day meant two things. Leftovers and cabin fever. We don't actually have much of the former as we are a family of gannets, but cabin fever had well and truly set in, with Alessi especially, so we went for a walk for some well needed fresh air. That was followed by a park pit stop to make absolutely sure that she was good and worn out. She was. In fact we all were so the rest of the afternoon and evening was pretty mellow after that.

And that was Christmas 2015. Certainly not Marks and Sparks ad worthy, but then when a company tries to turn even the humble Christmas sofa nap in to something that can be packaged and sold, that can only be a good thing.

X

Nothing to see here, just a cheeky little update

Just two more days until Christmas and I'm ready to settle in and enjoy it.

I have my woolly socks at the ready and I'm ready to cocoon myself and do nothing. Or at least as little as Alessi and Dan will let me get away with anyway.

I found out last week that Dan has never seen Mary Poppins so we're going to attempt a family film viewing which is basically an excuse to sit down and slob. 

I say we'll attempt it, but I suspect it will end up being me watching it on my own,  singing along to 'Feed the Birds' until Alessi comes over and plants a sticky hand over my mouth to shut me up.

Speaking of birds, I'm planning on making some bird cupcakes with Alessi tomorrow and I am perhaps more excited about this than of Christmas itself. 

I've been bad at putting out any kind of food for the birds since summer and I miss them. I miss any kind of wildlife to be honest, I'd almost be happy to see a slug these days. I am definitely a frustrated country bumpkin, trying to fit as much into my postage stamp of a garden as I can. If only Dan would let me get chickens again!

As he desperately wants another cat however, I suspect no one will be getting anything!

x

Mould, kitchen appliances and office trolls. I haz them.

Well it seems my brain only has room for one thing, the shop or this blog and as the former has been keeping me busy lately, my blog has been left gathering cobwebs. Much like my house. And don't even look at the laundry basket. Oh who am I kidding. You wouldn't even find the laundry basket. It got buried weeks ago.

So in an attempt to break through the blogging wall I'm just going to write up a shitty update post. You're welcome.

We have FINALLY got the external wall of the house fixed. I say fixed, although, it doesn't seem to have helped much. Something I could cry a thousand tears over.
Unfortunately, the mould downstairs seems to have gotten worse if anything. There is no emoji in existence that can convey my expression when we looked at the wall. There's just too much water in the air down here. Our living room connects to the kitchen with an open archway, no door. And right next to the kitchen, you have our postage stamp sized bathroom. Through cooking each night, hot showers etc and that crappy external wall with a giant corner sofa pushed up against it and it all just becomes one giant mould trap. Upstairs on the other hand, is perfect. Unless we start hanging wet washing around the place then that gets damp too. The dehumidifier is working overtime right now and I do not want to think what our next electricity bill is going to look like.

Very, VERY luckily Dan came in to some money through work and it was enough to pay for the wall, a new washer/dryer (no more hanging washing over radiators *fist pump*) and a dish washer.

A DISH WASHER!!!

I am so extremely, 'over-the-moon-slap-my-arse-and-call-me-Vera' happy about that last purchase. How has it taken us so long?
I don't know. I don't care. The fact is, our washing up days are numbered. NUMBERED I TELL YOU!

What else? The office job which I usually make a point of not writing about has become, well interesting. Long story short, since I returned to work part time after having Alessi I have had to put up with sarcastic, passive aggressive and sometimes downright mean comments from certain colleagues. All having digs about my time in the office. Or rather, the time I'm not in the office. This is of course made worse if I take holiday, (which I'm entitled to I might add) or time off due to sickness. It's been nearly three years and I am so tired of it. I've made all sorts of attempts to nip it in the bud, but nothing has worked and the past month something just snapped.
It has to be said that a lot of it is genuinely said in jest and I like to think that I can tell the difference. The trouble has been when the tone has changed and the jokes no longer felt funny or light hearted. When instead they left me feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed and singled out.
How do you draw the line in these situations?
Unfortunately I think the only solution is to stop tolerating any kind of jokes that poke fun at my working arrangement period. I didn't want to be that person. The one who has no sense of humour or kicks up a fuss over what others may feel is nothing, but really, it's not as if I haven't given them ample opportunity to sort themselves out. I've spoken with the individuals one on one and when that didn't work, voiced my concerns to my managers. Unfortunately neither seem to have worked so I'm going to have to be that person after all. Ah well. C'est la vie. I love my job and my immediate colleagues so I'll be buggered if I'm going to let a couple of bad eggs ruin it.

And on a much brighter note the other job is bringing me much joy and happy vibes.
The decision earlier this year to stop focusing on making things that everyone would like (yes I actually thought I could do that) and instead focus on making things that would only a few people would  like, has turned out to be the best decision I've made since opening the shop. Now I'm making things again that I love and get excited about. Perhaps too much as a few things haven't made it as far as the shop and instead magically appeared in my own wardrobe. *Ahem*
I'm enjoying it and as self indulgent as it sounds, I consider this to be the most important thing.

And that is pretty much it. Alessi continues to a whirling dervish of a three year old. Making me scream in to a tea towel one minute and wondering how I ever got so lucky the next.
I did have a wobble last week after reading an article in the Guardian about having only one child (note to self: STOP READING THE COMMENTS). But I'm back on track now. I don't think our selfish reason to have one child is going to turn her into a spoilt, socially inept psycho killer. Although we might get her a pet. Just to be safe.

Right then. For those of you that have got this far, 1) WELL DONE and 2) I do apologise.